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User blog:SteveBobMinecraftPants/Funny lines from BartBob SimpsonPants
FIRST PART: Olaf: Hey, the mail's here! What did you get? Bart: Let's see... (Looks through the mail) Winslow, Winslow, Winslow, Winslow, Winslow, Winslow, Hey! A magazine! (Bart looks at the magazine) Bart: That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Living Digest. Bart and Olaf: (They look inside the magazine) Whoa! Bart: Look at all these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living! (A picture of a rich person's swimming pool is shown) Bart: This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool! (A picture is shown of an old, rich person surrounded with bags of money) Olaf: (Points at the man's feet) This guy's got shoes! Tom: Give me that! (Takes the magazine) Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities! Bart: Hey Tom, how do the people in that magazine get all that money? Tom: They're entrepreneurs. They sell things to people. Bart: What kind of things? Tom: How should i know? Things people wanna buy! (Walks off) Now keep your paws off my mail. Bart: That's it, Olaf! Now We gotta becomes entrepreneurs! Olaf: Is that gonna hurt? Bart: Quick Olaf, (Off rage) without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? Olaf: Uh... (sweats) More time for thinking. Bart: No, something real, an item, something you would pay for. Olaf: A "???" bar? (Patrick said "A Chocolate Bar?" in original but now it will be something else but yes it will when the episode even WILL happen ok pfft?) Bart: That's a great AMAZING idea, Ollie! We'll become traveling "???" bar salesmen! SECOND PART: All: Blah, blah, blah, blah... Tom: People, people, settle down! Ok, now... Now How many of you have played musical instruments before? Sideshow Bob: Do instruments of torture count? Tom: No. Olaf: Is mayonnaise an instrument? (AHA! Best thing Patrick ever said huh? XD Right!?) Tom: No, Olaf, mayonnaise is not an instrument. (Olaf raises his hand again) Horseradish is not an instrument, either. (Olaf lowers once his hand) That's fine. No one have had any experience. Fortunately, Ihave enought talent for all of you tho. (Tom laughs. Everyone stays silent... so much, ugh!) Mario: So when do we get the free food? Tom: Ok, try to repeat after me. (Tom plays 6 notes) Um... Brass section, go. (brass section repeatsbadly) Good. Now the wind. (wind section repeats badly) And the drums. (...8 drummers even mostly misunderstand what Tom means, so they blow on their sticks which blow out and stick Tom to the wall) Too bad that didn't kill me. Well, that was bad! (Next scene) Ehem, Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now i want everyone to stand in straight rows of five. Bart: Is this the part where we start kicking? Tom: No, Bart, er... that's a chorus line. Olaf: Kicking? I wanna do some kicking! (Olaf kicks Margo in the leg) Margo: Ow! Why, you...! >:U Why I oughta...! (she jumps on Olaf and starts fighting him until they roll outside and the doors slams shut!) Olaf: (Makes a very long painful scream.) (Everyone pauses and stare at the door, then Olaf sticks his killed head back in) Whoever is the owner of the haunted brown sedan, you left your lights on. (Olaf walks in and it is revealed lol... that Margo tho has stuck his body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as he walks towards his seat. As he sits down, he makes a sound on his trombone. Makes a loud trombone noise as he opens his mouth. Stares at himself.) THIRD PART: Tom: Boy, we gotta eat something. (And they have pizza box for costumer!) Bart: I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers is... Eating flowers! Really much. In ground! (Tom eats some flowers) :/ No, maybe it wasn't flowers really, um... (Tom spits out the flowers) Maybe it was sand, no, no, mud. Tom: Give me the pizza! Bart: Wait, I remember now. It was flowers! Tom: Give it to me! Bart: No, we promised it's for the customer. Tom: Oh... Um... (fancy music plays) You're right. It's for the customer. Bart: Yeah! Tom: Maybe we better check on it, make sure it's okay. Bart: Well? Tom: Just a peek. (opens once box) Bart: (He shuts it quickly) K Okay, it's fine. Tom: No, I think I saw something. (opens box once again) Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. Sure is a fine looking pizza. Bart: Yeah. Tom: What's that? Is that the cheese? Bart: Yeah!... :) Tom: And the pepperoni? Bart: Yeah! Tom: (Bart slurps) Oh, looks good, huh? Bart: Wait a second, I know what you're trying to do, Tom. (closes box) I'm not letting you eat the pizza! Tom: Give me the pizza! Bart: No! Tom: Don't make me take it away from you, Bart! FOURTH PART: Bart: All right. I Get it together. Old boy. I know. I'll just stop thinking about it. Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. Even little every bit of I don't even remember why I was sad. (Olaf walks up to him, dude) Olaf: Hey, it's the new McMario's 2 manager! (Bart starts crying again) Wow, the pressure's already setting in. Bart: No, Ollie, you don't understand. I didn't get the promotion. Olaf: What? Why? Bart: Mario thinks I'm a kid. Olaf: (slapping his forehead) What?! That's insane! Bart: I know. Olaf: Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid! FIFTH AND LAST PART: Bart: Mario, I'm telling you! He's innocent! Sideshow Bob: W-What are you gonna do, Mario?! Pour hot oil on me?! Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?! :( Mario: No. Knock-Knock. Sideshow Bob: Knock-Knock jokes? I can do this all day, Mario. Mario: (...in a frustration) Knock-Knock. >:) Sideshow Bob: BAH! Oh, boy. Who's there, huh? Mario: Jimmy. Sideshow Bob: Jimmy uh... who? :( Mario: Jimmy BACK MY FORMULER, BOB!!! Sideshow Bob: Well, that's stupid, but how is this torture? Mario: (holding headphones) Hehehehe... You'll see. >:) (puts headphones on) Bart: Jimmy... Back my formula? Hmm. Ohhhhhhhhh! I get it! (starts to laugh hysterically and he puts on a lever and Sideshow Bob gets shocked cooled) Sideshow Bob:... :) Uh oh... :( OH MAH! NOOOOOO! (screams in pain, cut to Mario smiling smugly with headphones on, then back to Bob, the two side pieces of electric chair things that tho holds the hands stuck does holding now down Bob's sides come off) Oh, make it stop, Mario! MAKE IT STOP!! (scene soon cuts to Mario then everbody is seen and Bart is uh... Still laughing so evil! Bob still screaming painfully and Mario still do not listens there, then Bob is imagines millions of Barts laughing until...) Tom: (Opens the door with angry customers behind him, interrupting the moment) Mario! (hears Bart's laughter) Bart, zip it! (Bart finally stops laughing and turns the lever finally off) Sideshow Bob: Oh, thank you, Tom! Category:Blog posts